


Pillow Talk

by lamerezouille



Series: 25 days of Draco and Harry, 2011 [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-12
Updated: 2012-11-12
Packaged: 2017-11-18 12:24:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/561047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lamerezouille/pseuds/lamerezouille
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Prompt: <a href="http://i1209.photobucket.com/albums/cc385/sassy_cissa/2-1.jpg">This nice and fun-loving couple</a><br/>They’re naked. And in bed. But it’s rated PG. I’m sorry.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Pillow Talk

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: [This nice and fun-loving couple](http://i1209.photobucket.com/albums/cc385/sassy_cissa/2-1.jpg)  
> They’re naked. And in bed. But it’s rated PG. I’m sorry.

‘ _Harry?_ ’

Harry was falling asleep with Draco’s warm breath on his naked chest, so he just hummed his reply, hoping Draco would get the hint and let him get some rest after having exhausted him so much with his flexibility and deliciousness.

Draco, however, wasn’t deterred by Harry’s unresponsiveness and seemed to think now was the best of times to start a conversation (as opposed to the middle of the day, or when they were having lunch, or when they weren’t naked). Harry cursed his luck at being in a relationship with a Slytherin – the sex had obviously been a plot for Draco to have him at his babbling mercy.

‘You know how you always say you love me and stuff?’ Draco said.

‘Yeah. _And stuff_ ,’ Harry answered, getting awake enough to put a touch of sarcasm in his voice.

‘And that you would do anything for me except for murder, rape, torture and having tea with Umbridge?’

Oh. So Draco wanted something, then. Harry decided it was maybe in his best interest to give up on sleeping right now. This could get dangerous. He shifted his weight on one elbow and reached for his glasses on the night table. Draco lifted himself from being entangled with Harry and sat cross-legged on his side of the bed, facing him. He pulled a sheet over his crotch when he noticed Harry was getting distracted by the view and resumed his speech.

‘Also, you can concur with me that we are the very model of a successful relationship and that our love is True and Everlasting.’ Draco marked a pause for Harry to nod, and went on, on full Wizenmagot-mode. ‘It would then be not only a gift, but perhaps even an honour and, dare I say, _duty_ , for us to help the less fortunate in finding their One and Only Soul Mate. This may be even more our obligation in this holiday time, which always accents one’s loneliness. It could be our present to the world: bringing more love to these trouble times.’

‘Come to the point, Draco,’ Harry said, as sternly as he could manage, trying not to yawn.

‘Well… I thought you should hook up Greg with one of your friends.’

‘What!’ Harry spluttered. ‘How on earth have you come to this conclusion?’

‘It is quite obvious, Harry,’ Draco replied, as if Harry was misunderstanding on purpose. ‘Now that I’m always with you, Greg needs someone to fill the void, and as I don’t want to quit my position as his best friend, I decided I would find him a girl.’

Harry gaped a little at Draco’s very satisfied-with-himself expression.

‘So,’ Harry began slowly, ‘let me reformulate this as I understand it: because you don’t have enough time on your schedule to boss him around anymore, and don’t want anyone else to do it in your stead, you decided to _find him a girl_.’

‘Exactly! I’m so glad we understand each other,’ Draco said with a winning grin.

‘Does Goyle even _want_ a girlfriend?’ Harry was dubious. He’d never seen Goyle even _look_ at a girl before. Maybe he was asexual.

‘Of course he does! He’s a twenty-five year old heterosexual, what else would he want?’ Draco said, dismissing Harry’s very legitimate question with a wave of the hand. ‘The problem is, _I_ know only a handful of girls and none of them would do. Pansy is way too smart for him; Millicent looks way too much like him – I’m not even sure he knows she’s a girl; and the Greengrass sisters are just conniving bitches (well, in fact, they turned him down when I asked). _You_ , on the other hand, know _a lot_ of girls.’

‘I do,’ Harry answered carefully, ‘but I’m not sure –’

‘Come on, Potter!’ Draco interrupted quite rudely, and really, he was lucky Harry really loved him ad stuff and would really do anything for him except for murder, rape, torture and having tea with Umbridge, because Draco was seriously starting to get on Harry’s nerves. ‘Greg’s not that exigent. He just needs a girl who’s right for him.’

There was so much sincerity in Draco’s eyes that Harry felt his resolve crumbling already.

‘Okay, no problem. Just tell me what you think the girl should be like and I’ll see what I can do.’

Draco’s smile spread on his whole face and Harry suddenly didn’t care if he had to indulge Draco’s every whim for the rest of his life.

‘She needs to be pretty, obviously,’ Draco said, counting on his fingers, ‘and not too much smarter than him – she needs to accept him as he his and not care if he’s more muscles than brain. She should be talkative, too, because he’s not used to having to hold a conversation. And maybe it’s better if she’s not too shy. I don’t think he would ever do the first step.’

‘So, in a nutshell, you want him to be with a chatty dumb slut.’

Draco tried to look affronted at this statement, but failed. He, however, felt the need to add, ‘A _pretty_ one, at least.’

Harry rolled his eyes, took off his glasses and lay back in bed.

And that’s how, two days later, Harry found himself on a double date with Gregory Goyle and Lavender Brown. He had never spent a night feeling more awkward (even including his very brief relationship with Cho Chang), and promptly decided that the next time Draco tried to talk to him post-sex, he’d fake sleeping.

(A few weeks later, though, he also decided that Draco had really good ideas and must truly care for his friend’s happiness, because he’d never seen a couple look as ridiculously happy as Goyle and Lavender.

Apart from Draco and him, of course.)


End file.
